Fun Congressional Motions and Resolutions

It's time again for the annual week long congressional session of the top Chinese political body in name. The Seagull will assemble a list of funny draft resolutions for the amusement of readers. Understandably, no representative would propose to end the Party dictation, so some opt to suggest something 'meaningful'. Readers are encouraged to submit nominations.

Senator Wang Ping suggested farmer's kids should not go to college. She is concerned that once the kids learned about the outside world, they would be less likely to return to their rural home in poverty areas. Thus, they wouldn't be able to inherit and maintain the culture of the poor. Senator Wang is the Chair of the Chinese Chamber of Commerce and Curator of the Beijing Chinese Museum.

Senator Wen Ximei suggested to dramatically increase the price of chemical chemica, pesticide and fertilizer, so that farmers will have to resort to organic alternatives. Wen claimed cheap chemicals made Chinese farmers lazy. Wen is the vice president of South China Agricultural University.

Hubei's Tough Chief Promoted

Hubei Governmenor Li Hongzhong, who made name when grabbing a female reporter during a press conference at the National Congress in March 2010, was rewarded with a promotion to the Party Chief of Hubei Province, announced the CCP today.

No Apology Was Due, Said Hubei Governor

The whereabout of governor of Hubei Province had been tracing down by curious reporters in the past couple of days, after he grabbed a female reporter, and confiscated her recording pen at a news conference of the National People's Congress.

Today LI Hongzhong was finally ready to talk to official reporters of designated agencies regarding the weired episode on March 7, 2010. He stated that no apology was due in this case because the reporter, LIU Jie of Beijing Times committed fraud impersonation (as a People's Daily reporter).

Beijing Times is a wholly owned regional division of People's Daily, targeting readers in Beijing. The relationship is somewhat analogous to that between a Buick and General Motors.

Governor LI said he would prefer to forgive the misdemeanor of the young reporter because she was still new in this field.

All reference to the incident had been wiped out from the web inside China protected by the Great FireWall.

Yellow Dog Congresswomen

The Great Leader Chairman Mao has said, "it's not difficult for someone to do the right thing once, but it's a rare virtue for anyone to be doing the right thing in his entire life." Eighty years old Shen Jilan is exactly such a perfect person who has always been doing the right thing throughout her entire life.

Shen is the only representative who has stayed in the office from the 1st National People's Congress (NPC) to the 11th. She was interviewed during the 11th Congress which has been in session since March 5th.

Shen is deputy secretary of a local party branch of Changzhi, Shanxin. She had seen Chairman Mao, Premier Zhou, and President Jiang Zemin in her long political career. In the interview, she proudly exclaimed that in her 55 years tenure of national congresswoman, she had never voted against any bill. She is always supportive of goals and guidelines laid out by our Party.

We are proud to have our representatives so loyal to our Party. We love our Party. We love our Congress!